I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
