come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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