God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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