He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
