jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
