Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
