Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
handjob tips. give me some.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Let the clothes fall where they may.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize