Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
