You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
she told me i tasted like america
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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