Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
