yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
