We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Randomize
