Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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