porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize