Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
