i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
