It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize