How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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