Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
