yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
