I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
