google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
