I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Randomize
