My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize