it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
