There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
