Where is the hickey?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
