he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
