i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
