Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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