I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You've changed since you got that strap on
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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