The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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