i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
