I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
