another moral hangover. fuck.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Is it because I queefed?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I don't want my vagina anymore.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
