toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
