Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
