Rock
Scissors
Fuck
so explain again why im purple
no
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
