I think i sorta joined a cult last night
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
