I like to think it a success when the cops are called
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
