Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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