He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
