I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
