When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
