We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud š³
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Iām gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a ābrilliantā idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
