sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Randomize
