The maid of honor just puked.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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