How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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