Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
