Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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