Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
