I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
