dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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