Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
