Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
