Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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