I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
