I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Randomize
