I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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